Dear {insert (band | artist) name here},

I’m happy for you that {album name} is {some round number of years} old. That is quite an accomplishment, and you should be proud. Well done!

I, however, shall not celebrate the anniversary by purchasing your expensive re-released version that includes {(demos | outtakes | noodlings | tracks that weren’t good enough the first time round nor on any subsequent new album | remixes)} and other miscellany. Unless the original release lacked a vinyl option, then I might, but only if {album name} holds a hallowed place in my heart. Maybe.

Even then, you’re probably letting {music label} charge way too much for it. Have you considered one true-to-the-original release for casual fans and people on budgets and another super duper deluxe for hard core completionists?

Regardless, congratulations on your milestone. Now go make some great new music instead of milking the past.

Cheers!

p.s., AI, estates of dead artists, and soulless behemoth corporate entities who gobbled up music catalogs can fuck right off.